How to handle dating your friends ex

If you need to vent about one of them, find a neutral party. You need to respect boundaries without making assumptions. Remember that you can love them both without them necessarily having to enjoy each other. Set aside time for each of them and honor each relationship separately. Be- sides, comparing yourself to any- body even if you come out ahead is going to make you feel bad, be- cause basing your self-esteem on where you stand relative to some one else is not healthy.

You and your friend are not in competition, except when you are actually playing scrabble.

I’m dating my best friend’s ex and she won’t speak to me

It may be tempting ask your friend to analyze what happened between the two of them so that you can avoid making the same mistakes, but resist that urge. Face your new relationship and build it. You must also recognize that some exes really are off-limits. You must not marry before this year ends. Stay true to your girlfriends.

Dating best friend's ex girlfriend reddit

He might use you as a rebound and you will be the loser at the end of the day. You may also end up losing your friend forever. Your email address will not be published. Notify me of follow-up comments by email. Notify me of new posts by email.

Tokunbo David Sun News Online team writer and news editor. This is a tough one, because dating a friend's ex is one of the most essential dating taboos. Which is that people never really get over significant romantic relationships.


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I don't mean that you can never be happy again after breaking up with someone. Of course you can. But it's largely a matter of compartmentalizing. You get a new and even prettier girlfriend, or hang out with your friends more, or get into jiu jitsu or knitting.

Wait - Is It Ever Acceptable To Date Your Friend's Ex?

You get a new life so you don't spend all your time sitting around and crying about your old one like the baby you are. Sure, people will talk about their old relationships and say that they're "over it" or that it "wasn't meant to be," or pepper you with other related nonsense phrases, but what they mean is they're not thinking about it right now. All of those old wounds stick around, just waiting to be re-opened. You're always going to feel weird when you see your ex, at least a little bit. If you're still friends with your ex , it wasn't that serious, or it's still serious.

And, if you date your friends' ex, you're telling your friend that your romantic feelings are more important than their happiness.


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  • Because they're going to see you holding hands with their ex, and remember how nice that felt, and if you think they won't envision you having sex together, you're being naive. Of course, that's going to hurt. Inherently, it's a selfish thing. You're saying, "screw you and your silly emotions, I've got to get laid.

    Does this mean you should never, ever date a friend's ex? It means that it's a bad idea, but that's not the same as "never do it. It's possible that you've got an uncommon romance on your hands.

    Only Date Your Friend's Ex If You're Prepared For This

    Maybe this is your future wife, or muse, or whatever it is that you're looking for. If this is the case, you'd be missing out on years of potential passion if you passed up on this girl for the sake of sparing your friends' feelings. Like I said, this is a tough one. You've got a hell of a decision to make. Accordingly, you should treat this like any other important decision, which is to say that you should get as much information as possible.

    First, be real with yourself. Is this girl really special to you? Is there actually an uncommon reaction between you — some sort of deep compatibility that's worth alienating your friend for? Or is she just an attractive person who finds you attractive, too?

    Breaking “The Code”: Is It Ever Okay To Date Your Friend’s Ex?

    Those two things are so, so easily confused. Approach these questions with the maximum possible skepticism about yourself. If you feel fluttery every time you talk to a pretty girl, keep that in mind. If you're currently lonely and you really need to get laid, consider that maybe you're just desperate.

    And dwell on the fact that some of your excitement might just come from the taboo nature of this potential relationship, because, like everyone else, you want what's off-limits. If I were a betting man, I'd bet that your crush on this girl is just like any other crush.


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    • It's a fun illusion, which, if pursued, might reveal a great relationship, or might not.